Marriage – Part Six
If yesterday I spoke out of both sides of my mouth, then today will surely confuse you. There is a great dichotomy in life: You do not need others to be happy and yet you cannot be happy without others.
No one succeeds alone. No one is truly happy alone. We need each other. We were given to each other to love, to worship with, to serve with, to play with, to argue with, and to enjoy. That means we have to figure out how to get along with each other. This is a challenge for sure; one that I have yet to completely figure out. However, with some 25 years of experience, I have some solid ideas I know works:
On this Sunday morning, there is surely one word that will change your life… forgiveness! Relationships are full of offenses. Two individuals attempting to get along with each other harmoniously is almost a ridiculous idea to begin with. To think there will not be hurt feelings between the two is just ignorant. I know you have been told the key to dealing with offenses is to forgive and “forget.” Does it really work for you? If we were able to forgive, we never forgot.
The Bible principle is given to us in the life of the Lord Jesus Christ. He forgave us of ALL our sins, grievances, shortcomings, etc. If He can do that (and we killed Him) then surely we can work to forgive those who have offended us. Even when we mess up (and I surely have too many times to count) we will make the choice to forgive and rebuild from that point. It takes two to forgive – not just one. It takes humility on the part of the offender and an acceptance of the humility on the part of the offended.
What do you need to forgive today that you have been harboring in your heart and soul? What great misdeed have you not forgiven? What little misdeed have you not forgiven? What bitterness is growing in you over your failure to forgive. The truth is that you will never be able to forget until you first forgive. Will you truly ever forget? NO! The scar will be present just as a child who once had stitches in his knee from an accident. Over time it is forgotten but occasionally you might notice the scar and it is at that time you are reminded that as a child you hurt your knee. There is no pain in remembering; it has healed.
Thus, it is with you. You will heal from your hurts. The pain will go away. It will become a distant memory. However, you MUST forgive in your marriage relationship before healing can ever begin.
Don’t try to forgive today; DO forgive today!